How are your nights now, Oleksandr? 

'I don't use melatonin anymore, sleep better. Before I go to bed I try to put good thoughts in my head. Last semester I had a lot of free time. It allowed me to work more, but I also had more time to watch the news. That made me sick. What is happening in Ukraine is not all in my head. I don't want that pain… I do want to feel it, but not always – you understand? Distraction is necessary to keep it up. I have been taking all courses again since September and so far I have passed everything. With good grades, moreover: my average score is eight.' 

You mentioned earlier that your father, brother and brother-in-law fight in the army. How are they?

“My father had a heart attack and is exempt from service. He takes expensive medicines, he is doing reasonably well. My brother-in-law was transferred to regional defense at his own request. And my brother…'  

Oleksandr swallows his tears. In a trembling voice: 'My brother is fighting at the front. He says everything is fine, probably not to worry us. I know that there are dead bodies on the floor, that the dogs eat human flesh. But we have no choice. We have already paid such a high price, we will continue.' 

Are there times when you feel guilty for being here and not there? 

Oleksandr falls silent and uses the time to collect his thoughts.  

Dan: 'When the war in Ukraine started, I consulted with my mother and brother. They said don't come back, don't fight. I built a life here, follow my dream study. Moreover, I am the only person who is able to earn money. I work thirty to forty hours a week as a cleaner in a hotel. Yesterday I worked a full day and then prepared my lessons for today until two in the morning. There is a sense of guilt, yes. At the same time I feel useful, because I provide financially for my father, mother, sister, her two children and my brother's wife and their child.' 

Studying is investing in your future. While: the crisis is now underway. Has quitting your studies crossed your mind? 

Resolutely: 'No. For a moment, when the war started, I considered taking a break. They thought the war wouldn't last long, but I didn't. I didn't want to give up my dream, not even temporarily.'  

Oleksandr points to an A4 sheet lying next to his keyboard. This is my schedule for this week. I know when to do what, everything is neatly arranged. If I follow my schedule, it works. Fuses? No, no, I can't stop. I'm willing if I really have to, but that's the worst case scenario.'